I love Amazon. After reading so many good things about Jillian Michaels workouts....
I’ve decided that i might have too purchase a Jillian Michaels boxset
30 Day Shred
No More Trouble Zones
Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism
6 Week 6 Pack
All for £14.99 i am getting a complete bargain here! how have more people not snapped this up!!
I felt the need to change up the workouts i do at home because I’m not seeing much change/progress in my body. Hopefully all these will be great….assuming i can even get through doing one DVD hahaha :’)
And i know that all these will last me absolutely agessss and i can re-use them time and time again.
For a while I’ve been poking at my fat and my flab in front of the mirror wishing i could cut massive chunks out and trying to imagine how amazing i could look if i could sculpt my body, pushing and pulling my skin and flab in all directions to see what body could be underneath.
I constantly tell myself and sometimes say out loud to my boyfriend that i don’t deserve pretty things because i don’t see myself as pretty. Constantly picking clothes that are a bigger size me and if i do pick things the right size and they’re fitting, i feel utterly stupid in them and too revealed and i hate going to try clothes on because on the full length mirrors.
My thighs, the pouch on my stomach, the fact that the top of my arms look good but hang too low for arms that are supposed to be ‘toned’, my over muscly calves and how the muscle looks if i clench it and that line that runs under my belly and round the tops of my legs and bum. Most of the time these things disgust me.
Am i just being overly picky about my body or could i in fact be showing signs that i have BDD?
I’ve been saying for years now that i want a boob job and now that they really are just flat sacks I’ve been looking about for a place too get it done, looking at prices, looking a doctors and reading reviews. I hate my breast, hate hate hate hate hate! but there are not what disgusts me most about my body.
I hate walking into certain stores, like yesterday i walked into an All Saints shop and caught two of there staff look at me and stop talking and i just had to get out, it made me feel like i wasn’t worthy of wearing those clothes.
Really has me thinking that all this, what I’m doing to make my body healthier is great but i don’t seem to be thinking it’s looking much better.
Yesterday was amazing! Remember that it's okay to have a treat day if it means you're going to be incredibly happy.
Yesterday i went out with my boyfriend, we went to the Trafford centre and watched A Monster In Paris and shared an ice blast drink but he had most of it, had a little walk around then went to TGI Friday’s.
Starter was the Chicken Fajita Nachos and then i had the kick-ass Garden Veggie burger with chips and tangy mayo and he had The Monster burger which was a 12oz burger with chips and tangy mayo hehe of course he didn’t finish it all by my gosh he did try! he payed for dinner :D thank you for that baby! and after we ate we walked around some more.
I wanted to buy some new underwear, found an amazing set and then didn’t get it which put me in a grumpy mood for abit. I hate when i put myself in a grump because i feel like i ruined his day even though i told him I’d had a really good day. I must try and not do this.
After we got home i decided i wanted pineapple, so we went to the shops to get some and i got some sweeties too, just a little packet and shared them. Oh i didn’t mention that he got gummy bears from Selfridges hehe he was so happy with the new flavours.
The point of this post, I allowed myself to have what i wanted for the day and i ate food that was glorious! and i will again :D without being a grump about not letting myself have pretty underwear.
No regrets, there’s no point because you’ll work yourself up and don’t forget that you wanted it in the first place. If you let yourself have the foods you want from time to time you’re more likely too not go over-board.
P.S i hate having a cold! stupid sniffles will not go away.
Nature Valley Crunchy Granola Bars & Pomegranate Green Tea
Little afternoon snack there! and what a brilliant one it is too :D
The oat & Honey are my favourite now after just trying them today haha i don’t feel like i need to try any other flavour, crumbs glorious crumbs over my bed but that’s alright i can clean them away.
Breakfast was 35g of Oatibix flakes, 100ml unsweetened soya milk and one extra large banana.
Lunch was a small handful of grapes, one granny smith apple-quartered, 2 tbsp of fat free plain Greek yogurt and 1 tbsp of peanut butter.
Tea will be a Toasted seeded ciabatta with roasted jerk chicken, Wok cooked red onion and sweet red pepper, spinach and lettuce with some spicy tomato sauce, sounding amazing to me right now aswell meep i can’t wait!
If you want to lose weight and you think you can do it without running or jogging , YOU ARE WRONG -A
I’ve lost 38lbs so far, never have i ran or jogged while trying to lose weight because I’m not a natural runner and have never found love for it. I tried it twice in my life for a couple minutes each time and decided it wasn’t for me.
I managed to lose it by cleaning up my diet and doing other form of exercise i.e Zumba, circuit training, kickboxing cardio and now i do kettlebell training.
After that post yesterday my weight this morning was 129.4lbs
It went down haha 0.6 lbs so not even one full pound but i was pretty happy. So I’m 3.4lbs away from 9 stone and losing 3 stone in total! that’s pretty cool I’d say.
I need to push myself to workout later after dinner otherwise i know that i won’t do it even though i love the workouts i do and they are fun i just seem to be in one of them moods but snapping out of it and getting things done will be the best thing i can do for myself today, then maybe I’ll have a protein shake.
Kettlercise yesterday was super fun again, the instructor we have is awesome and i think he’s a little bit new to teaching classes but I’m not 100% on that. Either way he makes it fun and works us hard and has a little laugh with us.
It was different this week we used a step so there was a bit more leg work, abs as always were so sore after the class and i could feel the muscles in my back had been worked. I was shaking all over again! it’s intense.
So i was thinking about how much change I'm not seeing!
I guess because i look at my body everyday I’m not going to see the changes that other people will see.
But i don’t see any change on or off the scales! and it’s really bugging me. So what i was thinking is, if i see little to no change in my body within a week or two (probably less though because i know what I’m like) then I’m considering cutting down the amount of calories that i eat. I know i need to feel my body enough calories to function and also do extra work and i will but maybe eating a little less and really trying to eat cleaner then I’ll be seeing some victories somewhere.
Even if i only managed 5-10 more lbs I’d be insanely happy, i want to break out of this rut and get under 130.
Oh and i need to get more protein, i try to get as much as i can without protein powder but my intake hardly ever rises above 100g and it can get super frustrating.
Is still the fact that because I’m doing more exercise and burning more calories, i need to increase the amount of calories i take in in the first place.
It really scares me, why? because i still have the mindset that i need to be eating less to lose weight! gahhhh why do i do this to myself. I know that in the long run this is going to be great for my body and that its getting more energy so it can work harder but right in the moment i think ”OH STOP EATING SO MANY CALORIES ABOVE WHAT YOU WERE EATING AT THE START YOU’RE GOING TO RUINING EVERYTHING YOU’VE DONE SO FAR!!!!” and yes in my head I’m screaming it.
I have to push past this, i want to push past it so much. When will this feeling go? i just have no idea but i don’t want to ever feel like eating more is failing it instead of aiding me. I think I’m feeling this also because i haven’t lost much lately but i think my body might just be adjusting itself to the changes and I’m hoping it’ll pay off soon.
Followed by 45 minutes of Zumba tonight at 8:15pm. Zumba at that time is never really a brilliant idea because then I’m always so wide awake and find it hard to fall to sleep but that’s the only time on a Monday i can go! I put up with it though because i love it and it makes me feel good before bed.
I have to say i am a little disappointed that nothing has changed much from the 7th January, i did expect a little more.
I have definitely been exercising more so maybe I’m building muscle so that’s why it’s steadying around 130lbs. Or is this just the weight my body wants to stay at?
As ever though I’ll keep at it, eat a little more, try and change up the workouts i do at home and see where i head but i am hoping my body looks better by my birthday and by better i mean leaner and more toned and perhaps a little smaller.